I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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