No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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