she was so not down for the gang bang
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
