I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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