I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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