Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I need a burrito and a hug.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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