If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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