Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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