Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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