I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
