He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
