Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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