is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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