I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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