OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
