im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
