Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
