I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
