his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
