The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
