She's JV to your varsity
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
so much tequila, so little girl.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
