id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
