I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
