Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
