I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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