Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i now understand why vodka
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
