real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize