Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
