By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
