which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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