where does the pee come out of this thing
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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