She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
