Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize