Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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