I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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