i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
