ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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