Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize