just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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