I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
