hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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