On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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