Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize