Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
