Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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