that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
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It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
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Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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