so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
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Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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