Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
