my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
