I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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