I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize