Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
vagina is talking i cant
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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