my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
